BleacH tHe SinS!

Have you read or watch the news lately? If you read
Utusan.com, you can read issue about price increase for almost everything from
chicken, bean sprout, rice, toll and oil and if you watch the news in Buletin
Utama, they play stories about murder or robbery. What Malaysia has becoming to?

 To me the price increase starts with the increase
in oil price. How can you maintain the price for services and goods when you have
a significant increase in oil price? Many people have commented on the
comparison government made, so I won’t go into that discussion anymore. But I
would like to let you guys know the factor for this significant increase from
my perspective.

 To me the increase is being planned by world most
influent country that is US. If you watch 9/11 Fahrenheit (or the maybe the
title is the other way round), the director gives reason for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are driven by the desire of US to
control middle east’s asset that is oil. It’s nothing to do with WMD or
Al-Qaeda or even the attack to the twin tower. That just staged reason for the
approval of UN. And the rest are history.

However in Malaysia,
oil is not the only thing that experienced price hike. Almost every item that has to
do with oil, increased in price. But if you ask me what is the most illogical
price increases in Malaysia,
I would definitely say it’s TOLL! Up to this second, I still can’t find a
logic explanation for the demand of highway operators for
the hike in toll. The minister that responsible said the government has to pay
the operators if they are not allowed to increase the toll. But what I really,really
don’t understand, how come the government has to pay, if the traffic for each
highway is suppose to be enough for them to make millions in profit? And how
come the agreement between the government and the operators did have clause
that stating the operators have the right to increase the toll without considering
the increase in traffic. Somehow I sense the agreements are bias to the
operator. I just wonder how the government that is suppose to run the country
could be possibly tricked to sign an agreement that is clearly bias to the
other party? Just wonder…

I actually would like to write more on the increase of
prices for most of the goods and crime cases in Malaysia.
However since I have whining a lot about toll, I’ve lost my interest in writing
about something else. Maybe in the next entry I’ll write about it if I feel like to.

I’ve been driving and riding in KL for more than 6 weeks now. And every
single time I’m on the road, I just pissed off with the attitude of other
drivers. Be it motorcyclists, car, lorry or even pedestrian, I would say more
than 85% of them are really selfish, greedy, reckless and like to do something
foolish to get themselves in danger.

In KL it’s just normal of you being overtake while in queue and I really
hate that. Can you imagine, in a traffic jam, you wait patiently behind a car
then suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, a stupid driver on your left without
signal just intend to cut the queue and go in front of you. Would it be great
if you could just get out of the car with a baseball bat, smash the mirror,
pull the driver out, punch him in the face, and when him lying down, kick him
in the stomach or head like a football and at then at the end of all that, you
spit them in the face, and shout to him "You stupid driver!". That
would be my imagination every time that thing happens to me. But if you think
only male driver do that cut queue act, oohh… no, no, you’re wrong. In KL
even some women drivers do that. I think she doesn’t realize that one day; she
might meet a crazy, hot boil male driver that would do her harm. And if that
thing happens, just pray that some other drivers would come out from their car,
to help her out and ease the situation.

What unique in KL, that selfish and foolish attitude, doesn’t happen to only
vehicle driver. Even pedestrian can be really, really stupid and do things that
can bring danger to them. Don’t they realize that if other drivers didn’t see
them, they might end up in hospital of worse dead? A place where you can
see this stupidity is Jalan Bukit Bintang. If you drive along this road, be
really cautious and concentrate on the pedestrians as well as the motorcyclists,
taxis, lorries and car drivers. Those pretty much like anything that moves on
the road or near its boundary. The pedestrian would just cross the road even
though the traffic light for them clearly shows red and yours is green,
motorcyclist would just push forward, fill up any gaps between the vehicles,
taxis would just stop wherever or whenever they fell like it, lorries would
just move ahead without giving any chance to other vehicle with the attitude
I’m big, so if you mess with me, then its not me who going to get hurt, and
other car drivers would just try to push forward and don’t want to be left
behind. So most of the time along Jalan Bukit Bintang, you can see a bunch of
people who are not stupid on their own, (they owned vehicle or at least have
work) but become stupid when they are being put in a society. Isn’t that
something weird?

I wonder what had happen to our society, which made us so selfish, greedy,
stressful, stupid and doesn’t care about other people and only thinks about
ourselves? Is it because of the road system, pressure living in a city, money,
time, self esteem, education or simply because we just become that fool every
time we behind wheels? Probably if any of you have friends or family who do psychiatric
for living then it’s a good study to find out the root of our current
situation. Then the report must be published on mass media and everyone
who just tired of living like this can do something to rectify the problem.
Together we can become a better society.

As few people might know, I already back in Malaysia. This is my forth weeks back home but it seems like I’ve been here for ages. Nothing much happen here except for few activities in which I’ve jot below.

For the passed three weeks, my time was occupied of me being sick. Since I got back, I’ve had 2 sessions of sick time. On both occasions I had muscles and joints pain, diarrhea, headache and fever. I don’t really know the cause but hope I don’t have to go through that anymore. I suspect it because of mosquito (hey I never been bitten for the past two year!) but it maybe because of something else such as water or allergy. I did go to Dr. the first time but he just gave me medications for fever, sore throat, headache and antibiotic. No blood test as I hope, because he said if it dengue the antibody won’t show up in the blood yet if the fever is less than 3 days. The medicine did help with my muscle pain and fever.

Last 2 weeks I enter go-kart competition in Plus Elite Speedway or something sounds like that. It was a team effort consisting of 2 drivers. With humble tone I would like to inform you guys that my team got podium finish (3rd) for our maiden appearance. Imagine what we could achieve if we had a lot of competition experience and practice. The competition is my second time driving a go kart in my life. So if you have extra money and don’t know that to do with it, I suggest you to sponsor us to go into go-kart racing. We would be really glad, thankful and would put our 100% to it. Hehe… FYI Each 40 mins session of practice cost a sucking blood of RM 110. And because of that I’m almost broke. (I am currently unemployed and living on my little saving.) Oh I’m also thinking of making my own go kart, but it only achievable by doing more research and if I got tons of money to spare. :D 

Another activity that I’ve been doing is going out with friends. It’s good to have time catching up with things that happen while I’m away. Many of my friends with exception friends from Bath(like Zaki and Ada, :P) are either married or getting married. They also have established themselves in whatever they do (Zaki you’re included in this list). Their future seems to be bright with good pay and I am really happy for them.

Oh btw I’m thinking of changing the purpose of my blog. Instead of writing about me, I’m thinking of writing about my experiences in Malaysia. (Pardon me but hey I just got back and all the things I experienced in UK still fresh in mind.) Since I got back I see a lot of things need improvement, from Malaysian’s attitude, driving style, advertisement, TV show, etc. So I think by jotting down my observation about our people, you guys who been overseas studying or working could bring back some positive attitude from abroad and try to change the society. I really think this new exposed generation can contribute something positive in our society.

Oklah, I’m off to bed now. Till then, take care.

Ciow

If you one of my frequent readers (like I have so many!!
haha..), I’m sure you’re aware that all my blog writing usually contain story
about sadness and lost of hope. However in today’s writing, I can assure you it
gonna be a bit….. different.

For the past weeks many good things had happen in my life. I’m glad now that I
can start to see my future as a bright shinning day instead of a usual gloomy, uncertainty
days. It’s all started a few weeks ago. My view toward life changed as I passed
one of the most depressing times that I ever felt. Since then, my life started
to falls into place. Instead of viewing life as burden, I now see it as
blessing from heaven. I was actually blessed with friends and family that
supports me and concern about my well being. Thank you guys for being there
when I really in need. How can I actually thank God for that, I would never
know.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been busy with lots of things. There is BAMSA
Evening past  2 weekends, then trip to Brussels, Antwerp and Eindhoven and career
fair in London for the last
weekend. The BAMSA Evening and career fair was OK but the trip was EXCELLENT!
Thanks for everything Jibs! I had a lot of fun in Brussels.

Few of interesting things we did in Brussels was eating 3 full pot loads of mussels in a
day, snap tons of pictures and had hot chocolates and waffle for breakfast. The
mussel especially in Chez Leon was amazingly delicious and chocolate sauce on
waffle from Mokafe was fantastic! In Antwerp
we visited diamond museum (even though we got the start of the tour wrong!) and
practicing our photography skill in the middle of the town. Then we stopover in
Eindhoven never to imagine the day would end with a rare opportunity of touching
PSV Eidhoven field. However the picture when Jibam and I was on the field with
both of us looking handsomely like two football players showing of the proud
face to the stadium full of fans was spoilt by not having enough batteries
power to snap the picture. What a pity! But I glad we was given the privilege.

So there you go! I wrote about happy things that happen to me for the past
week. I pray to God for the long lasting happiness for me, my family and
friends. May God bless us all. Amin..

It’s been a while since I last updated this blog. It’s not
because I am lazy of doing it but rather because I don’t think I would like to
share the crunching feeling I had within me.

I think my life is sucks, full of sadness and full of disappointments.
I don’t actually achieve anything in life other than the feeling of fighting a
losing battle. Why can’t I be like anybody else, put the downs of life aside
and strive for the future. True, that I had learn from my downs, try not to
make the same mistakes again but the feeling of losing keeps on hunting me. Haunting
every second of my life, disturb my sleep, occupied my mind like a creepy
disease, pulling me down and prevent me of stepping forward. Plus I don’t have
anybody to turn to, nobody to hear my cries and mumble rubbish about my life
and disappointment I had. I feel lonely like a guy in a desert, left alone to
died alone.

 All this time I always have a negative thinking about
myself. I always critical about myself. Even though I try to change that perception,
I know I can’t deny who I am. I always have this concept of myself,
stupid-short-hideous-lazy boy who don’t know where he’s coming from nor know
where he’s heading to. Now with things that happen to me in this few weeks, the
concept seems to be true.

 I used to say this to a friend, "I’ll be like a common
person, pick myself up after a fall, stand up and ready for another blow".
The truth is, I been picking myself up all this years and it looks like I’m
tired of it. I’m tired of taking blow after blow, tired of falling down and
tired of keeping myself up for others to give me a blow.

 So I just wonder, what shall I do next??

I’m sure everybody must have their ups and
down in life. You wake up one day feeling happy and ready to face the world but
later something happen that messes up the whole day. Or you felt down, hurt, lonely
and miserable only to find out that by the end of the day someone or something has
cheered you up that makes your day. For me, one thing for sure, I believe I
control some part of my life and the rest is in the hand of my God. I can’t
predict what will happen but sometimes, something happens which in your favour that
makes you think that you are not being forgotten by the All-Mighty.

Yesterday something happens that had opened
my eyes that sometimes you might get lucky…. or….. let me rephrase it, if it
bound to happen like that, it will happen like that! You don’t have any control of few
things in life such as the future, peoples that you gonna meet or missed, things
that had lost or even your feeling. The story starts like this…

As I went out from my house yesterday, my
lips felt a bit dry. As I was a bit hurry catching up the bus to town, I don’t
have time to put my lip balm. (It’s a lip balm NOT a lipstick FYI!). After I
board ed the bus and seated, I open up the lid of my lip balm and accidentally
the lid slip out of my hand and rolls over to God-knows-where. I tried to look
under the seat in front of me but to no avail it went missing. After a few
tries (control oo… masa dlm bus, sbb I don’t want to be accused of trying to
peek the lady in front of me), I gave up and hoping the lid will rolls itself back to
my feet as the bus moves. After arriving in town and before getting out of the
bus, I’m quickly scanned the seats in front of me hoping to see the lid but still it’s no
where to be found. Felt a bit disappointed, reluctantly I got off the bus and walk
to the bank to settle off my credit card.

To shorten up the story, I went to uni
after that, to work, having a good nasi lemak in Jibam, Eysa and Faizul’s place
after coming back from work, then went to Beckhamton house to eat their cucur,
then to Marina to kacau diaorg study. And btw, I bungkus my lip balm tu with a
piece of paper sbb nak buang sayang sbb ada setengah lg.  Anyway, on the way back I managed to catch a
bus from
Marina to town. Then waited for about 15 minutes before bus no 14 arrived.
As I boarded the bus, I didn’t remember to look for the lid. Sapa sangka, dah
sehari dah, takkan lah nak jumpa lid tu dlm bus. Tak logic ler.. But.. to my surprise
when I look at my shoes (saja perasan tgk kasut sendiri) I saw the lid just
laying under the seat in front of me. I was amazed of the thought of how in
the world I’m sitting in the same bus and found the lid again. I pickup the lid,
dusts off the dirt of it, and returns it to its half.

 
That makes me think, sometimes, something might
happen to you, you lost part of your life, you go through the shits of life,
then one day, fate might be on your side and somebody pick you up and return your
life on track again. And on that day, you’ll be luckiest person in the world!

Deciding whether to stay in this country or
return back to Malaysiafor me is a BIG decision. I’ve think a lot lately (as usual! ) the
advantages and disadvantages of this country and what it has to offer for my
future life. I can’t deny the Pound is very, very tempting but the social side
is something hampeh to me. Here, I can’t see any other activity to do at night
except for Pub. I have nothing against it, but pub every single week?? No
thanks! I rather be at home (or most of the time at Rudeng and Bit’s home! btw,
they cooked really nice food for me that day, what else kalu tak fire chilli
fat chicken - ayam lemak cili api ).

Other factor that I can think off right now would be my family. Being so far
for so long (1 yr, not really long though! :P) reminds me how I really like to
be around them. I want to see my 3rd nephew in which I haven’t seen yet and
taste my mum’s cooking (I had enough eating my own cooking. Too lazy to cook
real food, so most of the time I ending up cooking burger and chips). However by
working here I would have the experiences that are really valuable. I can bring
back the experiences and improve our own car industry so that every time
Malaysian mention about their own car, they can say it proudly. (deeehh.. what
an ambition!)

Emm there are few other factors but I’m lazy to jot them here. But all in all
until now I still haven’t decided whether to stay here or not. I’m still
waiting for signs or ilham in deciding my next move.

Ok then, I need to go to town now to collect my phone from O2. Sent it for
repair last week.

Until then, take care you’ll!

ciow

TIRED, HUNGRY and IRRITATED! That’s what I feel right now. I need more time
in a day. 24 hours is just not enough. I got lot and lots of things to do but
the time  always against me. Wish I can stop the time, do the things I need
to do and when I finished resume the time again.

Anyway today is my last day of the work week. Lega skit. At least esok, bleh
gak lah releks a lil’ bit, coping up with the world and more important coping
up with myself.

Emm.. one more thing. Semenjak dua nih, aku asyik terpikir about mistakes
that I’ve made in my life. Tentang "junction" that I did not take,
about words that I did not said, about option that I didn’t choose. Mungkin,
kalu aku buat all those things, my life would be better or probably would be
worst! No one knows except for Him. But hopefully, this life that I have before
me would be the best life that I have. Moga2!

Dime! I don’t really know what happen, but here I am writing the FIRST entry in my blog. I got few ideas but too sleepy and lazy to write anything. Maybe tomorrow or the day after (no promises!) I jot something for you guys!!

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Right now in my head, I keep on hearing a song by Judas Priest! Don’t really know why, but I do like the lyrics!